|My collab with the always lovely and coffee-fueled FuzzyHoser|
SojournI have no power leftSojourn by neonxaos
from the wide-eyed attempt
at changing the course
of the river.
There is no time left
to sow the seeds
in my future.
In the dreamscape
there is no vision left
of the right way
to sail for death.
It will simply come to this,
the journey home,
SailorI set out to test the watersSailor by neonxaos
and push my limits,
but the depths were hungry,
and the limits fluid,
far too close to shore.
All the complexities,
the terror and the pain,
flooded the brain,
drowning the fact
that happiness can only rise
from deep within.
It is your own damn job
to learn how to swim.
The simple endSo it seems thatThe simple end by neonxaos
as the years go by
like autumn leaves
in snaking rivers,
the sense of distance
is swallowed by the sea.
So it seems that
there are no perfect circles,
only jagged lines
folding on themselves.
So it seems that
a human body
is simply matterless
from violent beginning
to the simple sweetness
of the end.
SupermassiveReality never bendsSupermassive by neonxaos
to human expectation,
it simply does its thing
and becomes the consequences.
At times it blossoms perfecly
in the gardens of our creation,
but when it dies and rots away,
we may have been the poison.
No result is guaranteed,
even when thoroughly tested,
but life is all but barren
without the seed of risk.
And in the end,
strange beauty grows
from feeling things
big enough to break you.
SuprasolarWe call it the Local Group,Suprasolar by neonxaos
this, our neighborhood of galaxies,
in which only a single star
is even remotely reachable.
And we tell ourselves
to dream big.
That hard work
will get us there.
But on the cosmic scale
our collective capacity
For every star in the Milky Way,
all four hundred billion or more,
there is a galaxy.
Even the Local Group
Yet since dreams are orbital
we hold our breath to reach them.
And when we perish in the vacuum
the stars still burn
everything that matters.
Forest fireWe were snaking up the I-84Forest fire by neonxaos
through Deadman Pass
in the Blue Mountains
of northeastern Oregon,
where stories write themselves.
The trees are evergreen, you said,
defiant spruce and pine and fir
protruding from dirt and rocks,
following the death of everything else.
I recall a membrane of clouds
at the apex, a reminder of borders
that should never have been crossed,
as overanalyzed by a tired mind.
It may or may not have been there.
We penetrated the veil,
the first Chevy
to sputter onto the Moon,
monochrome and lifeless,
under a radiant crystal sky.
The fire had ravaged
the land to the bone
leaving us trapped
in the rib cage of the world.
Something else descended
into the desert below,
but it was no longer us.
AwokenFor years I slept with open eyesAwoken by neonxaos
and fibrous dreams, cut into shapes
so real to the touch.
It took a shock to wake me up
and shed my baby skin.
The cold is raw now,
honest and lethal
to a naked body,
solid in the throat.
Light once imagined
shines no more.
Love once whispered
now rings hollow
among the echoes
of the dusk.
PressureSomething broke.Pressure by neonxaos
A hard CRACK while sitting in
a soft chair. No pain registered.
The absence of it
is like watching explosions in space.
You follow the curve of your skull. You remember
how skulls are formed like tectonic plates.
Your head wants to be a planet,
volcanic, living, in change.
You continue to your left shoulder,
the one with all the problems.
But today, it has nothing to say.
Your rib cage moves
like oceanic waves, expecting a storm
that hasn't come.
You stand up,
you consider your legs,
nothing feels wrong,
But you can break
more than your body.
Splinter helixEMBRYOSplinter helix by neonxaos
a derelict building shifts its swollen form
wire cage elevators moving carefully as it swallows
nestled in a womb of fragile concrete fibres
the child of paint and pastel colours stirs
searching blindly for that energetic outside world
it stretches its delicate arms like an earthquake
Tell me where you come from, what you remember
of the black ground. Talk in riddles only your kind
understands, talk in flowers, talk in thorny branches.
You crack the foundations in starlike patterns, and
you stretch the heart of you for the concrete above,
longing to carry the sky as a bed for the Sun.
the twisting flesh of the whistling tree
blankets the screaming mud with salt
in a lush park tended by arthritic backs
an old man sits with a young girl
as devils arc their spines within smiles
they discuss the taste of snow
They know the end grows high, grows nigh,
outgrows the star dome like parasite patchwork.
The invaders never came, they were the ground stones,
The day the leopards diedAlarm clock - check!The day the leopards died by neonxaos
The city humdrum - check!
The noisy guy upstairs - check!
The sound of running water - check!
The angry woman on the phone - check!
The furtive cat legions, stray, spoiled - check!
The wars on TV, clamorous, onerous, futile - check!
The shadowy stalkers returning to their hideouts - check!
The mother, worrying about offspring whereabouts - check!
The birds - a farrago of doves, gulls, sparrows, crows - check!
The dogs - spaniels, Great Danes, retrievers, pomeranians - check!
The plumber, wanting money for that job he never completed - check!
The bugs, the critters, the noises behind the walls, the eyes in your kitchen sink -
Check, check, check!
Everything accounted for, I look outside and find no leopards.
You would think that this was natural. This is not
leopard country, but I feel their absence elsewhere, and
I wonder why all the city eyes look inward.
So I walk.
I cut into the sunshine
and sail the concrete waves into
the green - no leopards, into
the blue - n
|My Daily Deviations. Splinter helix is a collab with my good friend winterhill|
In her madness writtenIn the mountainsIn her madness written by neonxaos
the words came down like
hard and ruinous.
In her solitude
she was a goddess
of her design.
In this state
every word was power
darkening the black,
outrunning the light.
In her descent,
she lost the gift
In the sanity of the valley
revisits to what was written
revealed no subtext, no method
but the open deep.
On these pages
she found a stranger’s words
startled like a bird flock
never to be caught again.
Inhabitant 4They saw her many faces from afar,Inhabitant 4 by neonxaos
how lines were drawn across her lips,
how mountains rose and kept her mouth
Blackened skin, valleys far, from nose to neck
from chin to
she lacked the personal sphere, at most
a wisp of listless air
remaing there, incapable of moving
her detaching hair,
floating solar on the wind.
She is waterless.
She is red skull.
Her days burn her nights,
and her sonic waves
ran out of ocean
UnbuttonI declared love dead.Unbutton by neonxaos
There was a ceremony, and I did the obituary.
"Dear love. I told you so."
Then the burial of an empty gesture, broken
promises integrating with the earth.
I visited the grave, let my fingers run
along the unmarked stone. I would sit at the TV at night,
awash in a sea of detergent and other peoples' wives,
forgetting everything about this. One day I just woke up cold.
And it was fine.
I wrote my acceptance on the inside of my door.
Life is full as it is. Full of spoons and dirt and ways to slowly dig.
Full of reflections on what passes and what does not.
Curled up in itself, a wad of dirty bills. Life is
blue smoke drifting by. Life is consistent in its own confusion.
Rocks and boneheads, sticks and stoneheads.
Some people are dancers, wings for brains, others are dredged from the shallow sea.
We are mud people, grime, flesh, palpitation,
and sudden flashes of staggering beauty.
Life is what grinds the mountains and moves the oceans.
Life is the fantastic terror re
MouseMouse is in the wall.Mouse by neonxaos
He listens for your breathing.
Mouse is in the wall.
Whiskers on the outside of your inside,
he feels for signs of loss.
Homes in empty spaces,
halls between our thoughts.
Mouse is in the wall.
He listens for the cracks,
the notches and the secrets.
A tiny nose vibrates,
an eager tail explores.
Mouse is in the wall.
He writes his unseen stories,
surrounding you like dust.
The money breaks.
The high-rise falls.
The ground thunders.
The skies fault.
Mouse does not flinch.
This is meaningless to him.
Mouse is in the wall.
If you listen, you can see,
if you focus, you can hear.
The blank spaces crawl
with secret punctuation.
The city lives between the lines.
Every dark space populated,
outlines for our being.
Without this we are shapeless,
horizontal stories, vertical lies.
Little claws are digging.
Mouse is in the wall.
ResolveWalk in the sand, drown your dry cracked feet in the ground.Resolve by neonxaos
Step on ideas of glass empires, visions of what the dust has been.
Beyond the curving dunes you feel the antispace, the vacuum of possibility.
Step forward, human child, relentlessly drawn into the coming dayfall.
Light shower your nakedness in the potential final dawn.
Leaving red steps in your wake will show your juggernaut resolve,
and you must point your heels in all directions. Let nobody think
that you were ever sure of where to go. Mark the journey,
because it outlives the destination that will devour your body.
Nothing runs like the horizon, until you lift your eyes.
Being-in-the-wordStanding on the rooftopBeing-in-the-word by neonxaos
reaching for that
elusive silver lining.
If I grab and peel, I expect
a silver skyslide, imparting
a new way with words
and finally some
All that happens is that
my hands grow oddly long
and older. They make
that only I can see.
They make noises
like paper crumbling,
then burning. But where
is the smell?
I stand there,
contemplating for hours
of annoying seconds, each one
pecking my skull, reminding me
of things I wasted them
I need to separate
what makes me an individual
from what makes me
a repeated meltdown.
I inhale - and suddenly choke on
For one moment, the answer is clear,
I fumble for my pen, and feverishly
I decorate my left hand
with the sum of my existence.
The ink rapid snakes up my arm
and spots my bright-wide eyes;
the mindfire fizzles.
I am at peace,
The midnight cold wakes me up.
I can just make out the moonlit words:
"Fuck all this
I'll just go with BLAH!"
|My Daily Literature Deviations, chosen by the fine folks at DailyLitDeviations|
What grows insideI sent off my first story to a magazine todayWhat grows inside by neonxaos
it's like sending your kid away, I guess,
though I have none;
there are just stories, all unborn
inside this cranium,
because I'm too lazy to labour for them.
Imagine a woman not giving birth to her child.
Imagine it growing, slowly eating her away from the inside.
If she is not a storyteller, she may abort,
or perhaps her body will suffocate and absorb
the little life. But if she is anything like me, she will be torn in half,
looking for an outlet before she is displaced,
by what grows and wants to live.
The stories need to live. They are not stories before being told,
just strange sighs and whispers,
twitches and headaches, distant
eyes blinking REM patterns while still awake,
staring through all obligations before them, looking for cracks to slip though.
Funny how you can fall though windows into oceans of
dark, powerful arms that rip you from this place and throw you somewhere else,
ImpromptuIn sobriety caged -Impromptu by neonxaos
let free by damage,
this life, this life, this
echoing sustenance that reverberates in dreams
is not interpreted by the sane, the unaffected,
Such a lie. Do you also keep lies in a jar,
pickled? They change, you know.
You may even forget where they came from,
they may even change what you are.
Light a cigarette and think of death.
Sleep and dream of waste.
Wake up and forget that you are alive.
The truth unpickled
He takes a look at the above, thinking "where did that just come from?" He is uncertain, thoughts revolving. "What's for dinner. What's that smell. I should be doing something else. I should be someone else, somewhere else. I wonder if I could be Elvis (?)." Suddenly noticing his own breathing, it becomes hard for him, a conscious act that shouldn't be - just like it is for you now. That is how easily we distract ourselves.
Where is the framework here?
Is this about anything?
Does it need to be?
Everyone searches for spe
How to ascendHow to ascendHow to ascend by neonxaos
in a blaze
like a Rocket-Man?
Do we not all desire to fly away
instead of laying on the ground
crushed by air?
Is it not ridiculous to live your life
under the sky, and not above it?
I want to try, I want to taste
the breath of planes, the kiss
of clouds, the memories
of birds, like snow before the melting.
So I light my boots on fire and expect.
And I stand there, burning, not flying.
Everyone thinks it's an act. They say things like
"you're on fire" and I respond in flames.
They laugh. "It's another reality show," a man says, but it's not,
"it's my life," he says, or I do. There is no difference any more.
Children ask their mothers why the strange man is on fire, but they say
"shush, honey, don't stare." It's a Street Thing, not a Home Thing.
Everything that is not Home is to be feared.
I expect that there are many other strange men on fire,
all around the world we burn like candles.
We are the Rocket-Men that had desires.
How to ascend?
In a blaze, we burn away,
FragmentsThey say you should follow your dreamsFragments by neonxaos
but then they just stay home
following other people's lives
I say things in response
I say the sky is burning
I say look in the mirror, you might meet someone
and they flip their eyes like channels
and turn off.
I also follow other people's lives
it keeps me sane, I think
from the world.
I also create worlds in my skull
they are brain cells.
I like creating worlds
I can hide inside,
but if I publish them
I will be naked
all paper dolls
What does that even mean?
I am still sitting, not drowning
the rebel in me
Star Trek reruns
and someone is screaming.
|Randomness from my poetry submissions.|
RatsRats by neonxaos
"What's that, dear? Flight computer cramping your style again?"
"No, rats, you idiot! Real ones. You know, as in brownish-black stinking one-pounder rodent sons of bitches?!"
"No, outside in the vacuum of space, Einstein! Of course they're in here!! To my knowledge, we've found no indigenous space- rats as of yet."
"Well, kill the damn critters, willya?"
"I give up! Were you born this stupid, or did you take lessons?"
"Well, I did go to grammar school in…"
"Shut up! I can't take it anymore!"
And this was where Elisa decided to dump her boyfriend. That night, the rats took a serious beating. They should have stayed in space where they belonged…
Elisa was not that kind of girl. You know, the fiery kind. But something happens to people when they're enclosed in claustrophobic little compartments for months, or even years, as Elisa had been. Cabin fever. Space pilots had developed a catchier term for it – cockpit cuckoo. And that was exactly what Elisa had
The Escape - beginningRyan Ohmaru was on the wrong planet. Or perhaps he was on the right one, but at the wrong point in time. Or maybe it was some kind of dimensional mix-up. But everywhere he went, and no matter what he did when he got there, he felt more or less out of place. Like an extra piece in a jigsaw puzzle, like a fish out of water, like one cliché too much. And that had been the way of things for as long as he could remember.The Escape - beginning by neonxaos
Presently, he was studying Japanese in Europe, with a minor in English literature. He was born in Japan, to a Japanese mother and an American father, but his first language was English, since he moved to the States with his mother at the tender age of three. At the time, his father chose to remain in Japan. "Business" was his only explanation, when prompted about the split. "None of your business" was his mother's. This was Ryan's life in a nutshell. Born in Japan, grown up in the US, and raised in between, mainly by stewardesses on board countless flights from L.A. to Toky
The Lady and the TreeIt was a lazy afternoon, Old Willow thought, hanging as he always did, on the edge of the ravine. He knew his days were almost up. The fall couldn't be far off now. He'd been suspecting the ground of mutiny. For the last fifty years, it had been creeping away from under him, his roots retreating backwards, desperately clinging on to...The Lady and the Tree by neonxaos
To what exactly?
He was a tree.
He had done and seen it all; the whole Tree Experience exhausted years ago. All the corners of Treehood visited, scrutinized and expended.
Then something happened.
A girl appears. Time changes, then dissolves into something else. An eternity passes, or maybe just a second.
She said, in a golden voice 'I was Fortuna, always is what never has been. Can you wish that you were me, for now, for then, for ever?' The girl was tall and slender, dressed all in white, except for a joker's hat and red, red boots. Her white hair shone in tandem with her skin, and her green eyes were radiant, piercingly intelligent and completel
Leaving New YorkI had sold the apartment, and I had said my goodbyes. I had wandered through the steam, the noise and the familiar mélange of smells, I had gone venti at Starbucks and plenty at Dunkin' one final time, and I had still wondered why people eat pretzels as I distributed my last one among the bird nation that is Central Park. As a squirrel crawled up my leg, over my back and along my right arm to snatch the very last piece from my cold, living hand, I thought "it's just that kind of city".Leaving New York by neonxaos
I had smiled at the cab drivers in their yellow-black monstrosities (those colors are nature's warning signs for a reason, you know) and I had wondered for the last time why anyone takes a cab in New York City when there are trains running underground through the veins of the city, and all cab drivers in the city are madmen, inexplicably drawn from every corner of the planet with the sole purpose of being in each other's way, scaring away any potential customers and being furious about that. Obvious
|My short stories in all their short glory.|
Texting in ClassI used to swear never to text in classTexting in Class by crimson-regret
those girls with bleached hair and
vacant stares would NEVER count me
among their vapid ranks- but, alas,
tapping those numbers in sequence
to form letters, words, sentences, stories
just is common place in my life, does that make
me blank, like a slate with no chalk?
I balk at the thought, my face is streched canvas
wearing a bemused expression I've taught myself
over a period of tense, tender hook times
and I decide that I guess I'm just a hypocrite
like you and you, but not her, there are still
wonderful people worth being with
I think I'm one of them
If I make you laugh, the sound of a chime being
plunked upon, toss a little slant rhyme in
just to throw you off, a tap dancing
crocodile that promises magic tricks in the second
act. Here I go again,
zephyr without an earth below it, only
sky filled with sunlight and rain and the promise
of love, joy and an underying pain that
I don't think I'll ever figure out how to make go away.
I'm sorry I th
|Hello guys. I've been showing my works for free here for nearly ten years, and I never asked for anything in return. It would be cool if I could at least get my Premium membership paid for, and why not go all the way and extend it "til Hell freezes over", which is a seven-year membership that costs a whopping 16K points. Help me out if you like my work and have a point or two just, you know, cluttering up your inventory.|