It has forgotten the origin
of its fall.
There is only
the billion-year void around,
chance encounters
with cosmos stones
and the tingling showers
of radio waves
in the hollow black.
It has forgotten more
than we will ever learn.
Everything smeared
by background radiation.
Surface smoothed
by lonely motes
of diamond dust.
It has forgotten
the inherent progression
of movement.
The stars are creeping on,
the planets revolving by,
all in transit but itself.
It sees no voyage,
no beginning and no end.
It can no longer perceive
that the blue sphere rising,
obscuring the dark,
is alive.
Report a Policy Violation
the news article as well as check out the individual pieces. We understand that each day you may not be able to check out each and every one of the pieces, everyone has their own things going on. We just ask that you make an attempt to help support the growing Literature community.
Follow us on Twitter
Become a fan on Facebook
Critiques
The overall tone remains slightly ambiguous, despite the dark imagery used throughout, which left me unsure whether or not I agree with your opinion (or if you were even expressing one, perhaps), but also allowed me to apply my own point of view within the context of my personal explication of the work.
The descriptive vocabulary is well-chosen, but may be somewhat held back by the more straightforward grammatical style - which, regardless of technical quality, can sometimes limit the metaphorical potential of a piece.
As always, I am delighted with the topics and concepts that explore well outside the box, and leave me with a lot to think about.
All in all, another fine piece of work.
Previous PageNext PageThank you for your Critique
You are not logged in.