ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
Daily Deviation
Daily Deviation
November 2, 2012
Pressure by *neonxaos Suggester Writes: The piece takes me on a journey with each reading, and I feel everything that the author describes, whether I know first hand or not. The last stanza is relatible to anyone who reads it.
Featured by BeccaJS
Suggested by Jade-Pandora
Literature Text
Something broke.
A hard CRACK while sitting in
a soft chair. No pain registered.
The absence of it
is like watching explosions in space.
You follow the curve of your skull. You remember
how skulls are formed like tectonic plates.
Your head wants to be a planet,
volcanic, living, in change.
You continue to your left shoulder,
the one with all the problems.
But today, it has nothing to say.
Your rib cage moves
like oceanic waves, expecting a storm
that hasn't come.
You stand up,
homo erectus,
you consider your legs,
homo sapiens,
nothing feels wrong,
homo stabilis.
But you can break
more than your body.
A hard CRACK while sitting in
a soft chair. No pain registered.
The absence of it
is like watching explosions in space.
You follow the curve of your skull. You remember
how skulls are formed like tectonic plates.
Your head wants to be a planet,
volcanic, living, in change.
You continue to your left shoulder,
the one with all the problems.
But today, it has nothing to say.
Your rib cage moves
like oceanic waves, expecting a storm
that hasn't come.
You stand up,
homo erectus,
you consider your legs,
homo sapiens,
nothing feels wrong,
homo stabilis.
But you can break
more than your body.
Literature
ISLNDS
you like the way
the i slants,
an error's
guidance
in a sea
of hyphens.
sans-serif
in cropped crests
made to full-
stop breasts
beating;
an obsess-
ion breathing
in lost chests.
now a motive
is seething
with options;
play thief
and proceed greedily,
often.
dive deep
and drink
the leap's froth;
breath is only
as sweet as the
speech that breeds thought.
Literature
Hubris.
today
we're younger
than we're ever gonna
be.
i. and we finally did it,
drove to the mountains
watched meteors
and let the mattress
grow damp
under our love
under the stars
ii. there are things to
be reconciled
iii. my eyes sting like
chlorine, but from
crying,
I finally disappointed
them;
the highest order of shame
iv. but you cannot put
people into pockets;
good, bad
don't mix
with them
v. and I cannot choose
who I love
vi. your lenses are straight,
elite and proud
mine, open and accumulating
filth
vii. maybe
I should run away more often,
we never talk like this
viii. and you have to realise
that I live in
Literature
Waiting
We are still waiting for the thunder from the distant stars,
The echo of mortality,
the whispers of a storm, half-remembered,
in sepia-coloured hallways in buildings that smell like books.
Time gets slow in waiting,
ghosts are formed from the wanting,
taking shape in the spaces where sunlight,
or moonlight doesn't touch.
The stars shake from the vibration,
and the ghosts shimmer in anticipation,
but we can't hear your voice in the dead of the night.
Suggested Collections
Featured in Groups
Comments91
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Overall Vision Originality
Technique ImpactI like how eerie this piece becomes, how you don't know what's going on, or anything?. I am curious as to what is actually going on.
The descriptions of various bones was interesting, ("You follow the curve of your skull. You remember how skulls are formed like tectonic plates. Your head wants to be a planet, volcanic, living, in change", "Your rib cage moves like oceanic waves, expecting a storm that hasn't come.") The similes are well thought out and well executed.
The style is quite nice, and I was drawn in fairly quickly. Good wording, good style, and I also like how you didn't overuse CAPITALIZATION, which can be a problem and is a large turnoff.