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Literature by Haru01


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Submitted on
October 22, 2009
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Old songs
to a new tune
and I keep
expecting
:the old refrains:
but instead
you overwhelm me.

And I begin again.
Try not to sin again.

Old songs
to a new moon
I go deep
respecting
:the old refrains:
but instead
you overwhelm me

with a
brand
new
beat
shattering
in
its
powerful grip
on
my
procrastination -
terminal station
with a
brand
new
beat
battering
on
my
late ego trip
till
its
annihilation -
my exhumation.

We can't live forever,
so let's sin it up together:

:you overwhelm me:
It's late... but it ain't too late.
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:iconkatarthis:
katarthis Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Interesting. This puts me in mind of the same old song and dance, a promise to one's self not to fall head over heels in love with that kind of girl, and yet, darn it all, I did it anyway. :p

k
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:iconlancelotprice:
LancelotPrice Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2010
Ain't no such thing as sin; it's just a ridiculous concept invented by people who want to control other people.

Have fun and exhaltation. :)
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:iconneonxaos:
neonxaos Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
I am not so sure. There is no God, but we sin against ourselves.
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:iconlancelotprice:
LancelotPrice Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2010
I don't call that sin; I just call it being self-destructive.
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:iconchadwood:
chadwood Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2010   Writer
I appreciate your unconventional approach to this - hopefully it will jar people up as they read - using the punctuation in the final line, and some other lines, creates a neat effect for teh reader. It's hard to explain but when you come to those lines you percieve them a little differently.

People will try and tell you what should and shouldn't be with poetry - and bear in mind that I am a fan of the traditional forms, meters, and rhythms - bt you will do good to continue exploring the outer limits.
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:iconneonxaos:
neonxaos Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you... people have indeed been telling me what to do with my poetry for a long time. I used to listen to them and fret a whole lot about it, but nowadays I just take advice/criticism for what it is and extract whatever is useful to me from it. And then I carry on doing my own thing :)

The use of colons in lines 5 and 14 as well as the final line are a rarely used way of indicating that the line must be repeated (thus connected to the idea of a refrain, which is then echoed in the final line).

Thanks for reading!
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:iconchadwood:
chadwood Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2010   Writer
anytime!
Reply
:iconsythh:
sythh Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2010
I love the feeling I get while reading this.
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:iconneonxaos:
neonxaos Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
:excited:
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:iconharu01:
Haru01 Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2010  Professional Writer
Nice vibe bro!
Reply
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